My First Mother's Day

I can't believe it was a year ago.

I was in a good place.  I had a happy, giggly 7 month old baby and a great husband.  I had a super flexible job, which led me to working my first mother's day so we could take a 3 day weekend the next weekend. The job I had at the time required a 40 minute commute, so on my first mother's day, my alarm went off around 5:30 A.M.  

I walked into the bathroom where my dear, sweet husband left me my first mother's day present.  He signed Hadley's name on the card.  

I headed off to work, and I'd been on the interstate for about 10 minutes when I started feeling a little queasy.  I started hot flashing and my mouth started to water.  I pulled over and threw up.  It wasn't the first time that I'd thrown up  on the side of that interstate.

I continued my drive with my stomach much more settled, but my mind was racing.

The only time I've ever gotten carsick, I was pregnant with Hadley. 

The thought process probably looked something like this: How long ago was my last period?  Surely, I can't be pregnant.  We were careful.  When was that period? Oh....oh...it was 6 weeks ago.  6 weeks is longer than 28 days.  My periods have always been 28 days apart.  I've only been late once. Oh. oh. oh.  I can't be pregnant.  We were so careful.  We were always careful except....oh.  oh.  oh dear.  

I stopped at the next store I passed.  I bought the test.  I raced into the bathroom.  I wasn't even finished peeing before that second line popped up on the stick.  

This is the honest truth. There were so many emotions running around in my head.    I was ecstatic, but I was devastated.  I didn't want another baby right now!   This wasn't my plan.   I spent a good chunk of my early twenties convinced that I was going to struggle with infertility.  I spent countless hours in my gynecologist's office because I had painful periods, recurrent ovarian cysts, and endometriosis. Now here I was, having conceived once immediately after stopping birth control, and now, once on accident. 

My head was spinning.

I spent the day locked up in my office crying.

I felt guilty that I was going to ruin Hadley's childhood by introducing another child into her life.  

And honestly, I felt a little stupid.  I'm a grown woman, and I know where babies come from.  

It took me sometime to accept that my plans aren't always what's in my future.  It took me EVEN longer to get excited about the pregnancy, and now it's almost crazy to think that this wasn't the way we planned things.  

On the night before you were born...

You're father and I are laid up in labor and delivery waiting.

I'm trying to take in every movement and every wave of heartburn. I don't anticipate having those feeling again until the fairly distant future.

You've been on fetal monitors since about 12-12.30. That's over 15 hours now. You are tired of being monitored and will not stay still.

I'm so excited to meet you, but I'm a little anxious.

I love you, baby girl.

37 Weeks

How far along? 37 Weeks


 THE CSECTION COUNTDOWN

Size of Baby: 

According to the bump.com, your baby's the size of a winter melon!

Yay! Baby has reached full term. She likely measures around 18.9 to 20.9 inches and weighs about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds. He's gaining about 1/2 ounce each day.

According to huggies, baby looks something like this......






Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I had to brave the scale at my anesthesia pre-op.  +23 lbs, but it was right after breakfast!! I will starve myself before my next appointment! That's a lie.  I'm always hungry.

Maternity Clothes: My wardrobe consists of up sized scrub pants, maternity/up-sized old navy tshirts, and a few maternity jeans and shirts.  

Gender: It has to be a girl because her room is now pink and sparkly. 

Belly Button In/Out:  It's still in. It is getting tight though. 

Stretch Marks:  They're here and here to stay. 

Labor Signs: I kind of thought I might have been leaking amniotic fluid today. It's cleared up, but I had a couple of contractions after dinner. 

Movement: I think it's getting uncomfortable for both of us.  It's almost painful when she starts moving.  I still love to feel her move.  That's how I know she's ok. 

Sleep: Is an interesting turn of events these days.  I'm getting up at least 3 times a night to pee, and sometimes I can go back to sleep and sometimes I can't.  I actually fell asleep on the toliet last night for the first time that I can ever remember doing that.

Cravings/Aversions: I think I'm finally getting over this Mexican food thing.  I made the best freakin' chicken nachos for dinner last night, and then today, Mexican food was disgusting to me again.  We'll see what tomorrow brings. 

Symptoms: A giant belly.  With HC, the only morning I ever remember waking up not nauseated was the morning of my scheduled c-section at 37 weeks.  I'm 37 weeks today, and I was NOT nauseated when I woke up this morning.  I haven't been as nauseated this pregnancy anyways though, so it doesn't feel like as big of a deal. 

I'm noticing more swelling and weight gain.  I'm tired.  I'm having back pain.  I'm having trouble getting motivated.  

Also, my bp was elevated at my pre-op appointment.  The nurse didn't really say anything about it, but I've been checking it twice a day at home since Monday.  It's not high enough for concern, but it's definitely gone up since my last OB appointment.

Feeling: My feeling of "over it" isn't getting better.  I'm still over it, but I want baby to be healthy.  If she decided to come tomorrow, I wouldn't be devastated, but I wouldn't be excited about bringing her home because our house is a DISASTER! We're in the middle of a reno project, and ugh.  Stuff everywhere. 

Best Moment this Week:  We're really close to finishing the baby's room, and it looks AMAZING.  It'll be awhile before we get pictures done because we still have to take everything out of HC's room and redo her floors.  We're on kind of a tight timeline because the hubs has to go back to work.  

What I Miss: Still beer.  And Sleep.

What I am Looking Forward To: Meeting another awesome baby girl! 
    
Milestones: We are full-term!


Next Appointment:  January 7.  This is very likely to be my last appointment.