Friday Five {Link Up}

{Oh, Christmas Tree}
This holiday season has been *EXTRA* hectic.  The hubs finally put up our Christmas tree on Sunday.  Having a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old, I wasn't really motivated to even put ornaments on it, but he insisted. 

{Christmas Party Central} 
Going along with an extra hectic holiday season, we've been jumping from holiday party to holiday party this year.  What's on my menu? Blackberry sangria and bacon wrapped green beans, yum. 
{Whining kids {And Husbands}}
With us going, going, going, and parties all the time, our kids are exhausted!  That leads to whining.  HC put herself to bed at 7:30 tonight.  

{Christmas Shopping}
I'm not a big shopper, and I find shopping with a purpose to be very stressful.  This year, most of my gifts are coming from amazon.com and my prime membership.  It's awesome, and I love it.  HC and I did run out after school today to buy a few things to mail her grandma, whose not going to make it back for Christmas this year.  
{A House Divided}
I was raised on Florida State football, and the hubs was raised an Auburn fan.  The smack talk has started and things could get heated around here in the next couple of weeks!

Friday Five

First off all, let me just say TGIF.  This week's full moon has hit the geriatric population hard.  It's been a long week.

So Friday's Five

{country fried steak}. I punctured a package of round steak while digging in the freezer last weekend so Sunday morning, I breaded it and threw it in the crock pot for the day.  The exciting part?  I was able to make 3 meals out of it. We had country fried steak and veggies, open faced steak sandwiches with gravy and Philly cheese steak sandwiches.

{milestones} My little Emmalyn has become a growing machine.  This week she has started pulling up on furniture and going from crawling to sitting without assistance.  

{rehab week}. This week is rehab week.  Take a moment to thank any PT/OT/SLP peeps you might know.   They're awesome.  My boss had a luncheon for us today and it's always nice to be appreciated.

{pig tails} For the second time ever, H let me put her hair in pig tails.  It is definitely the cutest thing ever.  It also makes me happy.

{fall is coming}. Even here in lower Alabama, you can tell that the mornings are just a little bit cooler and the bugs are getting just a little bit easier to deal with.   While we do have big plans for the last official weekend of summer, it'll be nice to get a reprieve from the heat.

Zinio Magazine Subscription {Giveaway}

Let me start this post here and say...

Hi, my name is Lauren.  

I've become a terrible blogger. 

I am in a chronic state of exhaustion. 

I am a magazine junkie. 

I recycle.  

Those last two things usually mean, I have a pile of magazines somewhere in my house waiting to be hauled off to the recycle bin.  Enter, my two-year-old tornado and that translates to a half shredded, scattered pile of magazines all over my house.

Enter zinio.   

What is zinio? That thing that gets rid of unwanted hair on late-night tv? No.  It's a newsstand. With tons of magazines.  Ready and waiting for you.  On your iPad, or iPhone (and it's available for the few of you that use android or windows devices too.) (Once you go mac, you never go back.  True story.)

So then, I started researching.  Zinio.  Magazine subscriptions that I don't have to haul around with me, worth a try right? 

I was super excited when Zinio contacted me with the opportunity to give subscriptions to my readers!  They have the awesome zinio z-pass which allows you to read 3 new magazines for $5/month.  

This post was sponsered by zinio, but all words and opinions are my own.  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Time Flies

My entire life people have said things to me like, "Time really flies by fast as you get older, " or "enjoy it while it lasts."

Lately, I've really started to understand what they mean by that.  I have an ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD.  She's a little person with her own ideas and preferences.  She's talking to me in sentences and she's so sweet.  She gives hugs and kisses and checks on her sister.   She visits with the animals and organizes her toys.  She sweeps and wipes the table down for me.

I mean, she's this completely amazing person that I'm having the privilege of getting to know a little bit better every day.

She's also her mother's child.  She's stubborn and set in her ways.   She throws serious temper tantrums that can last for hours.  She wants to be independent. And she's almost 2.   Some people may define this phase as "terrible."

And it is.

But it's also amazing.

It's a day by day.

And you never know what the day will bring.

And sometimes, I wish it was over.  I wish she could tell me exactly what she wanted or why she was crabby, and sometimes I want to hold her in this place and space forever.

Weekend Update

I'm not always the best juggler of things.  Sometimes, this poor old blog gets neglected for weeks and months on end.  Honestly, it's not just this blog that's gotten neglected, but my social media in general.

{Raising Kids}  

Emmalyn is 6 months old.  We just took her for her check up and everything was great.  The pediatrician was surprised she went 6 months without ear infections secondary to her cleft,  but she's a rock star.  She's 25th percentile for weight and 50th percentile for height.   She had some stomach issues last week and we ended up cutting out all of her milk based formula.  She now gets 100% soy formula with rice cereal added to it.  As far as development goes, she rolls from back to belly and belly to back. She tries very hard to crawl, and loves pushing herself backwards in her  walker. She makes a lot of noise, but makes very few consonant sounds.  She's started eating purees and LOVES them.  Overall, she's about the happiest baby I've ever seen.

Hadley is almost 22 months old.  She's developed a little bit of a diva attitude, and currently does not like taking no for an answer.  We've started mommy and me gymnastics which she loves, but getting her to leave has become a we bit of an issue.  Overall, she's happy and healthy, and she may be a little bit spoiled.

{Home Life}

Having two small kids has caused fast and serious havoc in my home.  It's hard to keep up cleaning up after them.    The hubs has been using his summer vacation to play catch up.  It's been nice to have someone else doing a little bit of the work, but I'm not sure we're ever truly going to catch up.  

{Work Life}

It's still there.  I'm still thankful to have a job that I love.  I've actually been working a little bit more.  

Swimming with the Fishes (Or the Frogs...)

My life is drastically different now than it was 2-3 years ago.  Since Emmalyn was born, I've noticed some very odd things about myself.  I've decided that I've turned crazy, but my dear husband thinks that I've always been crazy and I don't hide it as well as I used too.  

I'm not throwing the crazy term around loosely either, just so you guys know.  I mean I am starting to have serious anxiety/fears about (sometimes) stupid things....

Such as swimming with frogs....

Image Courtesy of a Handy Google Image Search

I've mentioned a few times that I run, and you see, that's really a lie.  I pretend to run.   I usually do more walking, and I hate it.  My preferred summer exercise is swimming.

It's perfect for me because I hate to sweat.  I hate being hot.  It's a period of time where no one can bother me.  It's amazingly peaceful under water.  I can't even listen to music.  I spend a lot of time in the water alone with my thoughts.  It's good for me.  It allows me to work through things in my head.

I swim in my dad's pool.  The location is good; the price is right.  My dad was out of town for a bit, so I was house-sitting.  One of the things involved in house sitting is fishing things out of this pool.

These items typically include leaves, bugs, and frogs.  One time, I even fished a swimsuit out of the pool.  That's a story for another day.  I've never been a big fan of frogs, but right now, they really skeeve me out.

During my first house sitting swim,  I did all my fishing prior to my swim.  A few leaves, a few bugs, and one ugly toad.  When I fished him out, I thought he was dead.  As soon as he hit that net,  he got back in that frog position.....

And I carried him in the net (attached to a 10 foot pole) to the edge of the woods and set him free.  

During my next swim,   I walked around the pool for a few minutes before hand with my trusty net (and the 10 foot pole, of course).  I fished out a few leaves and a few bugs.  I walked all around the pool looking carefully for frogs, and I saw none.

I started my laps, and just as I was about to hit my third turn, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

There....swimming next to me.....was a frog.  

I, a twenty something adult, with two small children, screamed under water.  I thrashed and hauled ass right out of that pool.  

After that, I calmly and rationally threw a small temper tantrum, retrieved my net and my 10 foot pole and fished the frog out of the pool.  

I finished my swim, but I never really felt relaxed.  The next day, I was needing that fix,  I headed out to the pool and carefully checked for frogs all around the pool.  

The frog was much nicer to me during that third swim.  He let me get 16 minutes, or about 22 laps in, before I caught that familiar movement out of the corner of my eye.  You'll be happy to know that I didn't scream under water this time, but the jerk swam up into the skimmer and teased me.  He sat right on the edge of the door to the swimmer, so I stood outside the pool and waited. 

and waited...

and waited...

And then I decided that I was being foolish.  I needed to finish this swim.   I got back in the pool and swam to laps with my head above water, you know, in case that old toad decided to attack.  

He finally came out and I removed him with my trusty net, and finished my swim.    I was so excited when my dad returned so I could relinquish frog fishing duty back to it's rightful person.  

This Life

Alternate Title: Why I don't blog like I want to.

Y'all, things around these parts have been a little insane lately.

It all started when my husband got man-sick, and all my spare time was sucked into listening to him whine and complain.  He also frequently referred to me as mean and without compassion.  Ok, I know you're sick, but unfortunately, life doesn't stop just because of illness.

And then, I got a new boss at work.  My job has been in constant change and chaos pretty much since I started, and my new boss is an old co-worker.  I have no issues with her as a boss, but she's the only other person that does my job, so it's put more work on my end. To be honest, I get paid by the hour, and I can use the money, so it's no big deal.

And then there's the greatest loves of my life, who seem to be more and more time consuming as they grow older and bigger.

And cooking and cleaning and laundry and dishes and bath time....

And this is just a crappy excuse post to say I'm still here, sit tight and I'll be back with more crazy, random blog posts and love for you guys!

Letters to Betsy

Dear Life,

You are getting in the way of things I love, like blogging and blog-stalking.  I mean seriously,

I've learned some things about myself recently though:

 I  love cupcakes way TOO MUCH to skip my morning run.  Period.

 I drink more wine than I would probably admit to anyone.  I wouldn't venture to say I have a problem, and I don't even drink every night, but we save wine bottles and my husband doesn't drink wine.  He has a glass here and there, so every time I slip a wine bottle into the cabinet, I'm painfully aware that I drink a lot of wine. 

I've always been a fairly emotional person, but the way my emotions come across has changed drastically since I had Emmalyn.  Before, I was always crying about xyz.  Now, I'm more like, "If you don't like it, go home."

Hope all is well with the rest of y'all.  I also hope to get back to my regularly scheduled blogging soon.  

The Man Flu

I usually have a fair amount of pet peeves, but this week, for sure, it's the man flu.

I know your sick.  Get off your butt.  I can't fix it for you.

If you're dying, go to the doctor.  

I can't fix you.

You're an adult.

Make your own damn appointment.

Get off your butt and help me do something.

The world doesn't stop when your sick.

The kids don't quit needing you.

Get over yourself already.

Oklahoma

My heart has melted.

Woman Finds Dog During TV Interview

Real World Education

What I've learned that they didn't teach me at school...

• People suck.  Honestly, if you want to depend on someone, do it yourself. 
• Love isn't cupcakes and roses (for me).  I LOVE my husband, but he can get under my skin faster than anyone. 
• There's a lot of crazy in the world. 
• Wine fixes problems. 
• Responsibility sucks. 
• Kids are amazing, but they can also be a pain in the ass. 
• Old men are honestly disgusting and perverted.  
• They also have no inhibition. 

My Faves

My favorite posts....I promise there is no reasoning behind these. 

ISO: The Perfect Birth Control Method

Our Family Has Grown By Two Tiny Feet

Just Rest

What I've Been Up Too

A Few Moments of Reflection

The Struggle

{To Be A Good Wife}

 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.- Ephesions 5:22-23

This is about to get real, so be prepared.  Also,  I probably won't proof-read it, because I want to be honest, and I don't want to back down from it.  So don't judge my broken sentence usage and rambling statements.  

My husband and I started dating 7.5 years ago.  We have been together for ALL of my twenties, and I love him whole-heartedly, but there are things that aren't so lovable.  I know that I will find these traits in anyone I let into my heart.  

Recently, I've realized that I'm difficult.  I'm selfish and I take out my frustrations on people that I love.  If the kids are driving me insane, I snap at my husband.   If I had a bad day at work,  I get short with him and our never ending conversation about what to eat for dinner.  

I make my own decisions, but I don't want to make decisions for other people.  I don't follow directions, and I usually think of myself first.  I'm not submissive.  

I don't put my husbands needs before my own.  I'm not talking about sexual needs. I'm talking about daily needs: conversation, love, reassurance, comfort.  

I'm not good at those things, and the amount of attention I've directed at him with us having two children has just continued to shrink and if I'm being honest, it's taking a toll on our marriage.  

My challenge now is to spend more time focusing on my husband as a husband and not as a father.  I need to spend more time focusing on him as a person.  

I need to love him better. 

Once upon a time...

I cannot tell you why this story stands out in my head.  

I cannot tell you why this is the story that I chose.  

Once upon a time,  I was at my grandma's house.  My grandma died when I was six, so this is a long long time ago.  My grandma's house had a bedroom set up with a nintendo (an original nintendo) in it.  My favorite cousin was playing nintendo.  I was leaned up in the door way eating sweet-tarts.  I bit each one in half.  

My cousin said, "Why are you biting those in half?" 
 I said, "That's the way I eat them."  
He said, "That's not right.  You should put the whole thing in your mouth."
I said, "That's not how I eat them."  He said, "Well then your stupid." 
 I said, "I'm going to tell my grandma on you." 
He said, "She's my grandma too."  

I'm not one for self portraits....

Honestly, I feel like I look terrible in this picture, but both my babies are there with me, so it's perfect.  

Brush your shoulders off...

Today's topic was a hard one for me to pinpoint. Something difficult about my "lot in life."

Well, I'm I'm not trying to be a martyr. I've made decisions that have had outcomes, both positive and negative. And my life is kind of tough right now. I'm a worrier by nature. I constantly have a long stream of things rolling around in my head that need to be done, things that haven't been done, and things that weren't done right. In addition, there are things like, "am I making a difference at work?" And "am I a terrible parent?" Or "will my kid grow up to be an asshole?"

In trying not to stress as much. I'm trying to let things roll of my shoulders. I'm trying not to over think things.

I'm letting my almost 2 year old roll around on the floor screaming when she doesn't get her way. If her yo gabba gabba shirt isn't clean, oh well.

I'm trying not to let the little things my husband does ruin my day. In the big picture, is it the end of the world if he doesn't throw away his sweet-n-low packets from his morning coffee or pick up his dirty clothes off the floor? Absolutely not. Does it annoy the piss out of me despite the fact that its not the end of the world? Of course it does.

So how am I overcoming issues withy lot in life?

This self proclaimed "aspiring perfectionist" is trying to let go of the small things in life.

A Day In The Life

I should get up for my run, but I couldn't fall asleep last night, so I'm not going to.   

Ok, now you really have to get up.  

One child is ready for breakfast, one child would rather sleep a little bit longer.  

Get big kid dressed for daycare while small kid practices getting ready to roll over.  

Time to get ready- Benefit Boiing Concealer, Dr. Jart BB Cream, Tarte Smooth Operator Loose Powder,   Benefit Hervana blush, Laura Mercer eyeshadow, Avon Glimmersticks eyeliner, and Benefit Yes They're Real, Mascara.  Chi Turbo Round Brush and Loreal Fresh Dust Dry Shampoo. 

Breakfast of Champions- Cinnamon Life
Nectar of the Gods- Diet Coke

A Little Good Morning Music


I am unable to post pictures from my job, but my work day goes something like this.
8:15 Drop Emmalyn off.  Hubs and I have a divide and conquer approach, so he drops off Hadley.
8:30 Work.  Enter billing from yesterday. Make schedule for today.
8:40 Talk to boss about taking tomorrow off for Drs Appointment.
8:45 Drs Office Calls to Move Appointment
8:50 Talk to boss about taking different day off for appointment
9:00-11:45 Patients and Paperwork
12:00 Working Lunch Meeting on Personality Index- Very Interesting
1:00-3:30 Patients
3:30 Run out door for Drs Appt
4:00 Drs Appt.  Good news: Lost 4lbs.  Bad news: Have anxiety issues.

Other bad news: I forgot to take anymore pictures, so the rest of the day went something like this.
4:30 Pharmacy
4:45 Read email about Kate Spade Surprise Sale
4:50 Pay Kate Spade too much money
5:30 Dinner with husband
6:30 Most ridiculous trip to target ever.  Thank god I get paid this week.
7:30 Mmm....coldstone.  Yes I skipped my run AND got cake batter ice cream.
8:15 Pick kids up.  My kids spend tuesday afternoons with their grandparents.
8:35 Tuck Hadley in.
8:45 Lay on couch and watch DVR.
10:35 Type blog post.  Still on couch.
10:40  Announce love for all blog readers

Music: 

If it makes you happy.....

It can't be that bad...
1.  My family.  This is probably the only semi-serious one I'll have, but my family makes me giddy happy.  I love my kids so much my heart feels like it will explode, but I also feel like I might pull my hair out sometimes.

2.  Getting mail.  Talk about a kid in a candy store.  Even when I know it's coming, it makes me giddy. For example, I got my May birchbox yesterday.  Hello happy face.  {Sidenote: I'm thinking about trading my birchbox for a maven box.  Anyone have thoughts?}

3.  Thoughtful little gifts.  Ok, this seriously doesn't matter what it is.  If I walked into work tomorrow, and someone said, "Lauren, I brought you this penny because you didn't have one yesterday,"  it will make my heart swell.  Seriously.

4.  My dogs.  This kind of goes along with family, because our dogs are like are first and second born, but when our oldest fur babies smiles, OMG, I love it.  It's not a pretty smile either....

5.  Finding something I want/love on sale for dirt cheap.  For example, when Hadley was little, I really wanted a moby wrap, but I couldn't find it in my heart to buy one for $50.  I found one on the clearance rack at target for $11.98!! Made my week! And I'm glad I didn't spend $50 on one because she hated it.  Emmalyn tolerated it, but not for long.

6.  Finding that new "perfect" beauty product.  For example, my mom gave me some Benefit (LOVE) make up for mother's day.   One of the things that she gave me was the 'Boing' concealer.  I tried it today and I LOVE it!

7.  Sweets.  It's no secret if you know me that I have a ridiculous sweet tooth, and maybe sometimes I eat my feelings, but cupcakes, cookies, and other treats make me happy.

8.  When my old skinny clothes fit well.  Totally counteracting what I said in #7, I love when I can slip into a pair of jeans that were a little bit to small without any difficulties.  I usually look at my butt in the mirror and say things like, "Damn, I look good."

9.   A clean house.  Fact: A clean house is a happy house.  Fact: Keeping my house clean right now feels impossible.  I'm thinking about taking Wednesday off of work to clean house.

10.   A long hot shower.  Without interruptions.  I frequently refer to this as "washing the day off."  It's awesome.

Currently Listening: 

I Apologize (Letters to Betsy)

Dear Restaurant Patrons, 

I fully apologize to you for the terrible seat the hostess put you in.  She sat you next to a table with a 4 month old and a 19 month old sitting at it.  

In addition, I'm sorry that my 19 month old was on her best behavior.  She didn't yell, she didn't scream, and she didn't throw all her food on the floor.  She smiled and giggled and waved at you about 70 times. 

Furthermore, I apologize that your so old and stogy that you couldn't even smile at her.  I'm sorry that that corn-cob is stuck so far up your butt that you sat and ate your entire meal with a scowl on your face.  

You looked so miserable that I almost wished my toddler did throw food at you just to see if it would make your face freeze in that awful look. 

You should really loosen up. 

Sincerely, 

The Mom with the Happy Kids

My First Mother's Day

I can't believe it was a year ago.

I was in a good place.  I had a happy, giggly 7 month old baby and a great husband.  I had a super flexible job, which led me to working my first mother's day so we could take a 3 day weekend the next weekend. The job I had at the time required a 40 minute commute, so on my first mother's day, my alarm went off around 5:30 A.M.  

I walked into the bathroom where my dear, sweet husband left me my first mother's day present.  He signed Hadley's name on the card.  

I headed off to work, and I'd been on the interstate for about 10 minutes when I started feeling a little queasy.  I started hot flashing and my mouth started to water.  I pulled over and threw up.  It wasn't the first time that I'd thrown up  on the side of that interstate.

I continued my drive with my stomach much more settled, but my mind was racing.

The only time I've ever gotten carsick, I was pregnant with Hadley. 

The thought process probably looked something like this: How long ago was my last period?  Surely, I can't be pregnant.  We were careful.  When was that period? Oh....oh...it was 6 weeks ago.  6 weeks is longer than 28 days.  My periods have always been 28 days apart.  I've only been late once. Oh. oh. oh.  I can't be pregnant.  We were so careful.  We were always careful except....oh.  oh.  oh dear.  

I stopped at the next store I passed.  I bought the test.  I raced into the bathroom.  I wasn't even finished peeing before that second line popped up on the stick.  

This is the honest truth. There were so many emotions running around in my head.    I was ecstatic, but I was devastated.  I didn't want another baby right now!   This wasn't my plan.   I spent a good chunk of my early twenties convinced that I was going to struggle with infertility.  I spent countless hours in my gynecologist's office because I had painful periods, recurrent ovarian cysts, and endometriosis. Now here I was, having conceived once immediately after stopping birth control, and now, once on accident. 

My head was spinning.

I spent the day locked up in my office crying.

I felt guilty that I was going to ruin Hadley's childhood by introducing another child into her life.  

And honestly, I felt a little stupid.  I'm a grown woman, and I know where babies come from.  

It took me sometime to accept that my plans aren't always what's in my future.  It took me EVEN longer to get excited about the pregnancy, and now it's almost crazy to think that this wasn't the way we planned things.  

Reflections

Today's prompt: what do you miss?  It could be a person, place, or time in your life.   I could probably answer this question a million ways and go on for hours. 

{responsibility}  Sometimes, I miss not having so much.  I miss sleeping until 11:00 with no one screaming for to get up at 7:00 A.M.  Seriously kid?  I miss my husband and I packing up to go to the beach without having to load everything we own and then deal with screaming kids.  Sometimes, I miss not having to pay my own bills.  Sometimes I wish that I'd tried a little harder to pay of debt before we had kids.  

{people}  I REALLY miss some of the girls I went to graduate school with, an old professor/boss/friend, and some old co-workers in the, "I don't see them every day" sense.  I also miss my mom in this sense.  

In addition, there are some people who have left us for the great beyond that I think about frequently.  I miss them terribly and my heart aches sometimes, until we meet again.  Mike, G. Daddy, and Jake, I think of y'all often. 

{places}  When I was in college, we lived in a small apartment (that I don't particularly miss), but we were a block from Publix, and I could eat ANYTHING I wanted for dinner.  I miss the city.  Back here in Podunk,  I have a 15 minute drive to wal-mart and our dinner options are limited to about 4 restaurants.  

1 year ago I was doing …. working, celebrating my first mother's day, and found out I was pregnant.  There might have been tears. 

5 years ago I was doing …. getting ready to graduate with my bachelor's degree.  Spending a lazy summer with my hubby.  We also got engaged right around this time.  CRAZY??!!

10 years ago I was doing…. I was a junior in high school.  I was getting ready for finals and thinking about how much I would miss my senior friends the following year.  I remember that it was close to devastating at the time, but now it seems pretty lame.  

1 year from now Ill be doing…celebrating mother's day with my babies, and NOT finding out that I'm pregnant.  Hopefully. 

5 years ago ill be doing….I might be pregnant again.  That's the time frame we're planning, but honestly, we know our plans don't matter right?

10 years from now ill be doing… I'll probably be pulling my hair out with a 12 year old, a 10 year old, and a 5 year old. 

Selling Myself

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Today I'm selling myself.  In 10 Words or Less.  

Honest

Dependable

Intelligent

Organized

Motivated

Efficient

Boob Juice and Embarrassment

Warning: This post might get lengthy. 

This week, I'm linking up with Kaitlyn over at Wifessionals for her series Preparing For A Little One.  You see, Kaitlyn is pregnant, and I am so EXCITED for her, but I'm sitting her contemplating another margarita because both my kids are *finally* sleeping.   This week's topic for PFALO is breast feeding vs. formula feeding, and I felt like I should chime in because there are two sides to every story.   With Hadley, I was dead set on BFing.  It was important to me, and you know what the research says.  It's what's best for baby, plus it's cheap, so why wouldn't we do it?  I was a first time mom, so I had the 'my way or the highway,' attitude.  We tried, and we tried to get the hang of breast feeding, but the truth was we both hated it.   I spent so much time attached to my pump and to this day, I hate loathe despise the word 'breast pump.'  After a hard fought battle, and HOURS attached to my pump in style advanced, I threw up the white flag.  I was DONE.  And Hadley was just as happy to be getting formula as she was that breast milk I worked so hard for.   And then I found out about Emmalyn (approximately two months to the day after my surrender) and I knew that because "breast is best,"  I would try again.  Emmalyn was evicted and brought into my recovery room about 30 minutes later for her first attempt at breast feeding.  She latched on like a champ and nursed for about 10 minutes.  And again 3 hours later.  In a 4 hour time frame,  Emmalyn was already a better nurser than her older sister had ever been.   After that, we met the pediatrician and she told us about the cleft palate, discovered by accident.   I have some training in the area of cleft palates, and I instantly knew that Emmalyn would not be able to produce the internal pressures required for breast feeding.   And I was not devastated.  I kept trying through out the day, but when it became obvious that she was getting hungry,  I called the nurse for my similac advance.   Formula feeding TOTALLY changed my newborn experience.  I'm not writing this to dissuade anyone from breast feeding because we're planning on a third baby, and I'm planning on trying the boob juice again, but seriously!! formula feeding made my life so much easier.   I wasn't stressed out all the time about how much milk I was producing.  I wasn't constantly laying around with an infant stuck to my chest.  My husband/parents/random guy at the store could feed her and it would be fine!  I didn't have to tote my breast pump everywhere I went.  I didn't have to time my showers with her feedings because the ridiculous let down issues in the shower.   My baby was happy, and getting all her nutrients, and I wasn't on the verge of freaking out ALL the time.   In addition, my body was much happier.  With Hadley, I never lost any baby weight, I was moody and depressed, and just not a happy person.  I haven't had any issues like that with Emmalyn.  I returned to my normal self pretty quickly.  I lost all my weight from both babies (plus 10 lbs).  My boobs don't leak every time she cries.  I don't have a fridge full of half bottles of breast milk.   In fact, my fridge is full of wine and skinnygirl margaritas.   My kid is formula fed, and we're all happier that way.   I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

The truth about today's prompt for the every day challenge is that I don't embarrass easily.  I'm kind of take me as I am type person, and I should probably feel like a general ass much more frequently than I do.  

Embarassing: My kid, Hadley, pulled my boob out at her first birthday party.  Seriously? Did you not just read about the fact that she hates my boobs?  She hates drinking from them, but isn't so concerned about exposing them to other people. 

Embarrassing:  When my patient called his wife a "sex toy" in front of her, and More Embarassing: I was the only one disturbed by this.  

Embarrassing:  When you run up to an old friend and smack him on the booty (am I the only one that greets friends this way?) and his new girlfriend threatens to kill you.  Loudly.  In a book store.  While your with your husband.  Seriously?

But seriously, none of this stuff really bothers me.  

A Moment In Time

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Today's prompt: A moment of your day.  Here it is in pictures.

It's Not All Talk

I'm linking up with Eloquent Graffiti, Pretty Living PDX, and The Easley Family to tell you the scary truth about my job.   For the record, I'm a speech-language pathologist who works with geriatric populations.  More specifically, I work with older adults who have swallowing disorders secondary to stroke, generalized weakness, and dementia.  I also work heavily on improving quality of life and decreasing anxiety in people with dementia.  

Fact:  I LOVE my job.   I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it.  My patients melt my heart on a daily basis.  

Fact:  Just because I'm a "speech therapist," that doesn't mean you're exempt from my services.  I would be willing to be in 8/10 of the evaluations that I do, I have the following conversation:

           Lauren:  Hi, I'm Lauren, and I'm a speech therapist.  

           Patient: Well, honey, there ain't nothing wrong with the way I talk, but I'm glad you came to see

                             me. 

           Lauren: Yes, ma'am, but you're doctor wants me to spend some time with you. 

           Patient: But honey, I'm telling you, I've been talking just fine my whole life. 

           Lauren: Yes ma'am, but just because I'm called a 'speech therapist' doesn't mean I only address 

                          speech.  Sometimes I work on things like memory and problem solving.  We also have

                           to check and make sure you don't have any swallowing problems. 

           Patient: Well honey, I've been eating for 80 years without problems, I don't think I have 

                         problems now either.  

            Lauren:  Yes ma'am, but because your doctor ordered it, then I have to see what we can do. 

Fact:  I don't want you to have to drink thickened liquids.  I understand that they're disgusting.  I also know that aspiration pneumonia is the number one cause of death in geriatric care facilities.  In addition, I know aspiration puts you at risk for bronchitis, pneumonia, respiratory distress, respiratory failure, and possible death.  And a fact within a fact, just because someone doesn't "choke," doesn't mean a swallowing problem doesn't exist.   Also, just because someone wants something, doesn't make it safe.  However, I'm not a nazi.  My job is to determine the safest diet for your loved one, and recommend that diet.  If you want to feed your loved one something that is deemed unsafe, then that's your decision, and your an adult.   I just ask you to remember that there all risks involved.  

Fact:  Alzheimer's disease/Dementia are tough.  People suffering from these diseases often spend time agitated and confused.  They don't understand why they need supervision around the clock.  A lot of times they have decreased insight into deficits.  Unfortunately, as some doctors tell me, "there is no cure for dementia," and I'm not going to be able to fix it.  I can, however, come up with strategies and ways go improve your loved one's quality of life and decrease anxiety.  

Fact:  Even though I'm very aware of these deficits, I still get tired of repeating myself.   It makes me feel like a bad person, but alas, it is the nature of the beast. 

Fact:  I find a certain entertainment value in my job.   I love my patients, but sometimes you have to laugh.  Example: We had taco salads for lunch one day this week. 

           Dementia Patient: Oh, look, spaghetti. 

           Lauren: No sir, that's a taco salad. 

           Dementia Patient:  My spaghetti sure is cold. 

           Lauren:  Well, it's a taco salad, so some of it is supposed to be cold. 

           Dementia Patient:  Why did they serve this spaghetti over crackers?

Fact:  I spend a lot of my day negotiating and practicing verbal reasoning skills.  I also spend probably close to as much time documenting what I do as actually doing it.  

Fact:  I have to work, and there's no where else I'd rather work.  

Tell me the truth about your job.  

Here's my two cents...

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Advice: Karma is a biatch.  I know people don't believe in karma, but I'm firm and strong in my belief of it's presence.  

So her name is Karma.  She will haunt you.

Parenting Advice:  Relax.  

Fear

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Today's topic: what do you fear most.

This answer is easy for me.  It comes to my head instantly.  I fear losing someone close to me.  I know every moment I have with people I love is a gift.   I'm reminded of that constantly.

I can't even elaborate much because my chest is starting to feel tight and panic-y just thinking about it.

My biggest fear is losing one of my babies or someone else in my family.  The thought is almost intolerable to me.

Also, total side note, this every-day challenge has made me notice that a lot of things make me feel very panic-y and anxious, and I'm not really sure how I feel about that.  I want to say it's probably just post-partum crazy, but I'm not really convinced, because these things ALWAYS make me feel panic-y.  I guess I just don't think about them all so close together?

What you gonna do?

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

If you couldn't answer your job, how would you answer the question what do you do?  Well, I do a lot.        I raise kids.  I'm a wife.  I'm a house keeper.   I'm a chef.   I'm a photographer.  I'm desperate to be crafty.  I'm a shopaholic and a professional procrastinator.  I organize and budget money.  I'm a list-maker.  In addition to that, I have a full-time job.

The most important aspect of my life, for sure, is raising my kids (followed closely by being a wife).

Sunday Social

<center><a href="http://www.acompletewasteofmakeup.com/" title="Sunday Social"><img width="195px" src="http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac293/munchkin_land_designs/BlogDesigns/Buttons/SocialSundayButton3.png" alt="Sunday Social" /></a></center>

{4 Favorite Things To Do On The Weekend}

This totally depends on the season.  Always: sleeping in, snuggling with my babies, dates with my hubby, and laying on the couch watching bad tv marathons. 

{4 Favorite Things About Your Best Friend} 

I'm going to be a total cheese-ball here because my husband is definitely my best friend, so forgive me.  He loves me unconditionally, he's an amazing father to our children, he always makes me laugh, and he cooks me dinner. 

{4 Things You Would Do with $100,000}

Debt be gone.  I'd like to list a whole host of other things, but by the time all our debt was paid off, this would pretty much be gone.  I don't want you to think that we're deep in the hole on something crazy, but we are fairly deep in the hole on things like student loans, a mortgage, etc.  Also, a ridiculous vacation would be nice.  Anything left would be put towards my kids college fund.  

{4 Favorite Books You've Ever Read}

I love to read, but my "favorite" books are an in the moment thing.  My all-time favorite book was memoirs of a geisha.  I also love chic-lit, the sookie stackhouse novels, and a host of other things.  My favorite books as a kid were as the red fern grows and a tree grows in brooklyn.  My favorite kids book is where the wild things are. 

{4 Favorite Snack Foods}

popcorn, apples and peanut butter, cheese and ritz crackers, and cereal.  I could really eat cereal all day everyday. 

{4 Things You Must Do Daily}

Shower, check email/fb, kiss my babies, brush my teeth

*Sidenote* Did anyone else notice that on 5/5, they asked for 4 of everything?

Cinco De Mayo!

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Even though I've been blogging for a long time, I haven't really felt the need to grow or share my blog. As I've gotten older and my friends and I have gone our separate ways,  I've felt more of a need for girlfriends, which I think is one of the reasons I started looking in to growing my blog.

I signed up for a Carabox Match-Up (Check out Katitlyn @ Wifessionals for more info.)  I was matched up with Lauren @ SLP Sooner or Later.  We have crazy amount in common from first name to profession, and I just find her to be super fun.  Check her out.

Make sure you put my bra on me...

I've decided to link up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day challenge.

Most of my favorite quotes come from patients.  You know, you just can't make that stuff up.  About a year ago, a patient came into my life.  When I think about her, my heart is happy.  My dad actually grew up across the street from her.

She said things to me like:

"I can't come to therapy.  I'm not dressed yet."  Of course she said this and then pulled her shirt up over her head to demonstrate that she wasn't wearing a bra.

Along the same lines, she told me one day, "Oh dear, they forgot to cover my dark spots [nipples]."

Upon response to finding out I was pregnant, "You know, I got married.  I got pregnant and then I had a baby.  I got pregnant again and had another baby.  I got pregnant a third time and I had another baby. After the third time,  I found out that was causing that and I never did it again."

I ended up leaving her when I took a new job and she passed away a few months later.  May she rest in peace.

Am I making you uncomfortable?

This month I'm linking up with Jenni at Story of My Life for a blog every day in May challenge.  
Theme for the day: things that make you uncomfortable.  This could get lengthy. 

• People who have no concept of personal space.  No, I don't need you 2 inches from my face for us to have this conversation.  
• On the same note, being in large groups of people I don't know.  Crowded elevator?  I think I'll take the stairs.
• Middle-aged to old men that take exceptional interest in my child.  This throws up a pedophile flag to me.  
• Vomit, nausea, or other gastrointestinal illnesses. You can read about my irrational fear of vomit Here but seriously. You saying, "my stomach hurts," throws me into an almost panic attack like frenzy.
• Confrontation.  I mean if you have an issue with me, I don't have problems with confrontation, but I don't like other people being confronted.  
• This isn't like an awkward uncomfortable, but more like physically uncomfortable.  Being hot.  We keep our house at ice-box level.  
• Caves and other enclosed spaces.  These induce the same panic inducing feeling as vomit.  Racing heart, sweaty palms, and shortness of breath slap me in the face.

What's making you uncomfortable?